So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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