I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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