Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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