Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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