One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
