Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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