i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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