You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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