In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
