i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
