For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
