Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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