Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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