I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
