Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
