bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We got so high we made milksteak
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize