I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
