just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
