please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
