He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
