We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
