how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
