READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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