is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
