So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
