This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
third nipple confirmed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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