I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
