Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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