would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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