I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize