Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
