this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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