Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
this hospital has no fireball
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
