She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
