I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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