Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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