I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I could fuck to npr.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize