Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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