ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
