my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
