You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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