with your own penis?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
