he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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