i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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