i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
