Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
