Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
