well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
True strength comes from lack of pants
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
