Will you blow on my dice?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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