I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
