Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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