I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
