I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So squirting runs in the family.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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