Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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