brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
