u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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