About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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