it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
