Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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