it's like iHOP with fire
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
