I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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