wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
