I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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