A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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