Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
