We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
