turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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